


Focus

by Yubell22



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Kent dealing with his past, Kent finding himself, Kent is my trash son, M/M, Slow Burn, TW: Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7153991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yubell22/pseuds/Yubell22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kent Parson had never really needed to think about where he was going next, he had it all laid out for him, and most important of all he had Jack with him every step of the way.  However, you always lose something on your journey to the top.  Kent lost someone he loved, and he was going to have to work like hell to find what he really needed.<br/>-<br/>Finished with outline only.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic may in many ways be me projecting onto Kent Parson, but here we go.
> 
> P.S. Check me out on tumblr - ittsybittsybunny - come ask for minifics or to talk!
> 
> And special thanks to my beta GZ!!!

There were a lot of things Kent had expected from his life, none of which had included him sitting alone in an apartment in Las Vegas at 18 years old. He had always known that he wasn’t going to end up on the same team as Jack, but there was this small, childish hope in the back of his mind that they would at least be close to each other. Now they weren’t even going to be playing in same league, which meant that Kent was alone and Jack wasn’t returning his calls, and he had no idea what was going on. Frankly, it sucked.

So, Kent took stock of his life. He was alone, he couldn’t reach his best friend to tell him anything, and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to be playing hockey anymore. However, he had gone first in the draft, and had signed a contract. There was no going back. In his head he knew he had everything he could ever want, but how was that going to help when he didn’t even feel safe in his own skin? 

Kent knew he could call his mom, or his little sister Cori, but he didn’t want to worry them. He didn’t know how to tell what was left of his family that after helping Jack all those times, he was the one having trouble breathing. Why was he suddenly the one who couldn’t keep it together? Why was he the one breaking down when Jack was the one who had been hurting? Jack had needed him, and somehow he had missed all of the signs that someone he loved so dearly was falling apart.

How many times had Kent seen Jack just a little too far gone after a night out? How many times had Jack touched his hair and smiled like he wasn’t really there? What else had he missed? Jack could spend hours lying around with Kent talking and nothing would be wrong, but on game days, and even after practices, Jack was all sharp edges. 

They were always playing well, they were always winning, and when they did lose, as long as Kent was there, Jack seemed fine. It didn’t matter what he had seemed like though; Kent should have noticed. He should have realized. Jack had never been consistent; his personalities changed too often and too drastically all based on how they played the game.

Sometimes it wasn’t just the game that made him just a little more wild. Sometimes it was Kent. There were nights when the two of them would touch and talk and stare just a little too intimately. There were nights when Jack needed more than just alcohol or his medication to keep him calm, and on those nights, he had Kent. They always had each other. They needed each other. 

But, now that Kent knew the truth, now that Kent realized that Jack needed more than just him, he almost felt used. During all that time, had Jack been abusing him, like his medication? Then again, maybe that meant they were both addicted. Maybe Kent needed Jack just as much as Jack needed him. 

They both craved a high in each other, and they reached that high with a reckless passion that often left them both wrecked and tired and undeniably relaxed. Kent loved Jack, but he didn’t want to think about it anymore, because he wasn’t sure if Jack had ever really felt the same. He had always just assumed that Jack understood his feelings and reciprocated. 

The evidence had been there in Kent’s mind. Wasn’t he the only one that ever got to call him “Zimms”? Everything had been so easy between them that Kent never really stopped to question what they were to each other, and now he was the one stuck in limbo.

He really fucking missed Jack.

So, Kent sat there on the edge of his new bed, in his new apartment, frozen. He hadn’t felt like this in years, and now he really wished he had someone to talk to besides his own head. As Kent sat there, his mind began to race even worse than before. Each new thought came harsher and faster than the rest and suddenly Kent’s breath hitched as his whole body began to shake. 

He couldn’t keep his hands still and he couldn’t calm down or focus. Every sound from the world around him began to sharpen as the seconds ticked by. He tried to clench his fists and get control of himself, but his hands felt wrong, heavier, and larger than they should have. He couldn’t focus on his breathing; he couldn’t even take a moment to collect his thoughts to figure out a next step. 

Kent was alone in his apartment above the city of Las Vegas with its lights and people and he couldn’t figure out why he felt so totally out of control and desperate.

Suddenly, like he no longer had any real connection to his body, he was pushing himself off of the bed as tears trickled down his face. His breaths were coming at an even more rapid pace as he felt his feet taking him into the master bathroom. Kent wasn’t thinking straight, or really at all at this point, when he threw himself into his shower and turned on the water. 

The ice-cold water hit him almost instantly and began to soak his shirt and pants. It wasn’t helping. His rational brain was long gone at this point as his mind was trying to grasp onto any semblance of reality. Kent screamed.

“Why isn’t this working? Why isn’t this fucking working?” he cried out as the cold water covered his face and kept him from opening his eyes. 

He sat in the water for just a moment longer before ripping himself out of the steady stream and falling to the floor. The pain of the impact was the first thing to break through the wild haze that had been building in his mind. It centered him to the cold tile floor that only seconds before had made his body too sensitive. 

He needed to calm down and think like Jack. Jack always talked about how he counted each breath. He needed to focus on patterns, on anything that would give his mind a pinpoint on which to settle. With each breathe in and out, Kent began to count the multi-colored tiles on the floor. By the time Kent was able to tune out the buzzing in his brain and calm his rapidly beating heart, he had noted that the bathroom contained 16 black speckled tiles and eight much smaller white ones. 

He almost laughed at himself then, just over the absurdity of needing to count the tiles on the floor to feel safe. It was absurd in some ways. He had spent so long trying to help Jack to understand him, and now that Jack was gone he could finally empathize. 

Kent lay there for what seemed like hours as he stared down at the walls and tiling. It was only when he remembered the still-running shower that he decided to move. And so Kent Parson, first draft pick of the Las Vegas Aces, quite literally rolled himself over and onto his knees. He sat there for a moment, just watching the patterns in the tile floor before carefully placing his hands on his knees and standing up. The first thing he noticed after his less-than-graceful rise to his feet was how unsettling his own reflection was. 

There were droplets of water dripping from his crazily spiked hair down his face and neck. His shirt and pants were soaked through completely, and his all-around appearance might have made his mother cry. Kent hated feeling useless, but more than that, he couldn’t stand being out of control. 

He paused for a moment to run his fingers gently through his hair before he dropped his eyes from the mirror and took a step back towards the shower. Then he leaned across the bathtub’s edge and gently turned the knob back to center. Kent took a moment then to run his hands across his face and collect himself and his thoughts before he turned back towards the bathroom door and switched the light off.

His master bathroom was less than five feet from his bed, but with aching muscles and a drifting mind, each step felt like placing dead weight onto the floor. As Kent made his way into the darkened room, he peeled his water-soaked shirt from his back and began to gingerly rotate his shoulders and rub down his arms. Even though he hadn’t played a game in weeks, Kent felt drained in a way he hadn’t in years. 

Slowly but surely, Kent began to wiggle himself out of the rest of his drenched attire, leaving only his boxers. For some reason it felt better to have them on, like the cold wetness was an anchor to the fact that he was there and alive. He walked forwards for three more steps before he collapsed into bed. Nothing felt right anymore. He missed his mother, his sister, his bed back home, but most of all, he missed Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kent is going to need time to figure his life out... love will come eventually...
> 
> P.S. - I plan on updating 1-2x per week, so see you then.  
> Btw, I've officially outlined the rest of this fic and its sequel. As of right now, this first series is Kent finding himself with a splash of Patater, and its sequel is all of the angsty, fluffy goodness your Patater/Kent and Happiness heart desires.


	2. Kit Purrson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kent meets his truest love, or weird goalies and cat adoption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, I've officially outlined the rest of this fic and its sequel. As of right now, this first series is Kent finding himself with a splash of Patater, and its sequel is all of the angsty, fluffy goodness your Patater/Kent and Happiness heart desires.
> 
> P.S. Check me out on tumblr - ittsybittsybunny - come ask for minifics or to talk!
> 
> And special thanks to my beta GZ!!!

Living in Vegas for the past two years had its perks, mostly that he was constantly finding new distractions. As long as Kent never stayed in one place too long or thought too hard, he could avoid his problems, and if there was one thing that Kent Parson was good at besides hockey, it was avoiding his problems. Which meant that when Kent wasn’t playing hockey, he was out clubbing and drinking. It was always easy to find something or someone to keep him occupied for an hour or two. 

However, hockey, dancing, and alcohol can only take up so much time before becoming progressively unhealthy. So, Kent needed a better plan, something a little closer to home, because his apartment was consistently lonely. It was his goalie Max Reynolds who implanted the thought one day at practice.

Between drills and weight training, Reny, who was strange even for a goalie, looked him straight in the eye and said, “You’re like a cat. You never let anyone touch you, but you always want attention. You should get one.” Kent stood there in the locker room expecting him to elaborate on the bizarre comment, but the goalie simply walked away humming to himself. 

It wasn’t necessarily the weirdest thing Reny had ever said to him, but he was definitely unprepared for it. Hell, it had become more expected to hear Reny mumble about the dichotomy of good and evil and the duality of man than to hear him talk about Kent. As he pondered there a moment longer trying to figure out exactly what Reny had been trying to say, his defenseman Eric Chapman had walked over and given him a questioning look.

“Reny means well,” Chap confided easily, “but if you think too hard about half the shit he says, you’ll end up checking yourself into a psych ward. It’s best to just not worry about it or him. Shit, if we started worrying about him now, we’d never stop.” 

Chap patted him on the shoulder quickly as he drifted away laughing to himself. For some reason Chap always seemed to be laughing to himself. Deciding now was as good a time as any to head over to the weight room, Kent amped himself back up and threw a smile on his face. He had more important things to worry about than Reny’s strange ramblings. 

As Kent walked into the weight room and looked over his team who were all somewhere stuck between chirping laughter and serious practice, he began to forget about his previous thoughts and focus back into charming and professional. He was Kent Parson after all, and he had a reputation to uphold.

It was two weeks later when Kent thought about his conversation with Reny again. He was sitting in his apartment watching TV on the couch when an advertisement for the Las Vegas Animal Foundation came on in between various product commercials. The commercial was a classic attempt at pulling the heartstrings as it showed various tragic-looking animals smashed between words and people asking for donations and adoption.

Normally Kent wouldn’t give the commercial a second thought, but he was alone and looking for a new distraction. Maybe a dog was exactly what he needed. Something big and loud, something to give him plenty of attention and keep him occupied. If he had a dog, he would always have an excuse to get himself up in the morning, something to come home to, something to keep him from staying on one train of thought too long, and something to unconditionally love him. Every man needed a good dog, didn’t they? It wasn’t like he didn’t have the money for it. Kent smiled to himself as he took his phone out of his pocket and googled the animal shelter. 

Two days later, Kent was driving down the road towards a one-story red brick building which boasted the words “Las Vegas Animal Foundation” in large bubble letters that were neatly surrounded by various animal tracks. Kent quickly pulled his car into the lot and hopped out. He couldn’t help but smile at the paw print stickers on the window as he pushed open the door and walked into the air-conditioned front office. A small bell jingled as he walked in past potted plants and vinyl seating. 

“Hello, how can I help you today?” a kind-looking woman with dark hair and smile lines asked him from behind the counter. 

“Hey, I saw your ad on TV the other day and I wanted to come in and see some of the pets and maybe adopt one and help out sometimes if you need that sort of thing,” Kent answered, a little too slurred. 

The woman behind the counter chuckled a little at his antics before replying, “Well, which one would you like to do first?”

“Any of them would be good, but maybe see the animals?” he said with a touch of uncertainty as he glanced around the room at the various vet posters and magazines. His eyes stopped for just a moment on a small cage in the corner that seemed to be occasionally used to show of “The Pet of the Week”.

“Alright, young man, follow me. I’m Dorothy, but you can call me Dot. I run this shelter and we’re always happy to have volunteers and potential pet parents.” She smiled up at him as she followed his eyes around the room.

“Well, I’m always happy to help, Ma’am. My name is Kent, by the way.” He added as he reached out to shake her hand. 

Dot took his hand in hers and squeezed firmly like he was a friend she hadn’t seen in awhile. She reminded him a bit of his mother, with her laugh lines and kind disposition. Kent felt significantly happier that he’d chosen to come here today. He followed the woman back through two sets of doors before they reached a well-lit hallway with a door on either end.

“On our right is the cat room, and to our left are the dogs. We have another room for hamsters and such, but there aren’t any here at the moment,” Dot raised her hand and pointed at each area, “Which do you prefer?”

“Dogs.”  
She looked amused at his response before questioning, “Where do you live, Kent?”  
“Just off the strip, in an apartment.”  
“So a small dog is what you’re looking for then.”  
“No, a big one.”  
“Okay,” she replied in an even tone, “And where do you work?”  
“Oh, uh, I’m a hockey player, for the Aces.” 

Kent noticed her eyes growing slightly more mirthful as he lost his composure at her questions.

“And what do you suppose a big dog is going to do all day when you’re at practice, and then away often? He’ll be lonely if you’re gone a lot. Plus, it’s hard to keep a big dog in an apartment, especially one on the strip where you can’t just let him out to do his business.” She looked at him sternly for a moment before continuing, “So, we can either let you torture yourself and the poor dog by leaving it alone in an apartment, or we can get you a cat.” Kent blanched a moment at the sudden chastisement. 

However, before he had a chance to reply, she continued, “And honey, I’ve known you for five minutes and I can already tell you’re a cat person. You read everything in the room looking for cues. You watch your words and make sure to show only what you want to show. Though I’d practice a little more on that part; I caught on just a little too quick. On top of that, you hunch yourself over and stay just a little too quiet. You don’t know me, so you’re sorting me out, just like a cat.”

Kent thought a moment at the woman’s words, which matched up with Reny’s random analysis just a bit too well. Maybe Kent had become a little more cat-like in his time--shutting people out, only coming to those he felt comfortable with. He spent time alone or out around town wherever he could get in. Usually he just wanted attention, but it had to be on his own terms. 

“Let’s go see the cats,” he finally answered after a few moments of silence passed between the two of them. Dot looked up at him and smiled as she lead him down the right side of the hallway to the kennel room. 

When he entered he immediately heard a few soft meows and several shuffles and scratches coming from all around. The room was lined with double-stacked kennels that could probably hold about twenty cats on each side. Each kennel door had a piece of paper attached that disclosed name, age, breed (if they knew), health status, and general information, such as whether or not they were good with kids. 

As he walked down the kennel line, he noticed mostly older cats who were simply lounging around looking a bit angry at his presence in their room. Each one seemed to ignore Kent and groom themselves or sleep, until he reached the end of the line. There, at the very end of the long line of cages was on extremely unimpressed-looking cloudy-eyed beast. 

The cat’s name was listed as Kit, she was three years old, and she had had lost her vision in one eye to feline herpes. She had an extra toe on every paw, and was listed as friendly, but uncomfortable around children. He thought she was absolutely gorgeous. As he leaned closer to get a better look at her, Kit stared up at him and sneezed. Kent immediately jumped back and wiped his face as the woman behind him let out a quick chuckle.

“I think she likes you,” she said between her laughter, “That or it’s just her herpes acting up.” Kent must have looked a little spooked at her words because she quickly tacked on, “Don’t worry, she’s only contagious to other cats. Though, it does make her a little more difficult to take care of, but no less lovable. She’s a sweet one; it’s why we call her Kit. Short for Kitten, since her fur never flattened out and she still looks like a little thing, no matter how big she really is. She’s part Maine Coon we think, since she’s so big, but we don’t know for sure.”

“I like her. She doesn’t seem to give two shits that I’m here. She could care less. I love it.”

“Would you like to hold her?” Dot asked.

“I would love to,” Kent answered earnestly. 

Dot walked up to the cage and slowly opened the door. Kit didn’t seem to care one bit as she was hoisted off of her bed and into Kent’s arms. From the moment he took her, she seemed content to snuggle into him and continue lazing about in her new location. Soon after she began to purr. 

“Maybe she really does like me,” he murmured softly as he brought his face a little closer to hers. She opened her eyes and slowly blinked before bumping her forehead into his. Kent was completely transfixed. “How do I take her home?” he asked softly, hoping not to break whatever spell seemed to be at work at the moment.

“Well, she’s an adult cat, so it’s $75 for the adoption fee, and you’ll need to fill out the paperwork, but it shouldn’t take more than five minutes if you really want her. Also, we have food and litter and other essentials here if you need to buy anything, which you probably do since you came here for a dog.”

“That all sounds good to me. She’s perfect.” Kent marveled a moment longer before following Dot out to take care of the essentials. 

Roughly 20 minutes later, Kent wobbled out to his car carrying a bed, two stuffed mice, a bag of food, and a bag of litter all stacked into Kit’s future litter box. Dot followed behind him carrying a white box with several holes that seemed to be full of a meowing, scratching demon that had only five minutes before had been totally asleep.  
“So,” Dot asked with a final huff as she helped him place everything into the car, “What are you going to call her?”

“Kit Purrson,” he replied with a smirk. “Because a cat this awesome deserves to be just like me.” 

The box seemed to meow in agreement, at least according to Kent it did, so Dot’s amused glance passed right over him as he stepped into his car and prepared himself to take his new favorite being home.

Two days later when Kent had morning skate with the team, Reny came up to him and smiled. “You look better. I told you that you needed a cat.” he said in his usual strange all-knowing goalie manner as he skated away towards Chap and the rest of the guys. 

“How is he always like that?” Kent questioned to the air as he went to join his team for practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)!  
> Feel free to leave comments and kudos.  
> \-------  
> P.S. Check me out on tumblr - ittsybittsybunny - come ask for minifics or to talk!
> 
> And special thanks to my beta GZ!!!


	3. Lord Stanley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent Parson is about to learn that happiness sometimes has to be earned, but can be lost just as easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the beginning of plot, or in other words, the roller coaster of mental health.  
> \------------  
> P.S. Check me out on tumblr - ittsybittsybunny - come ask for minifics or to talk!
> 
> And special thanks to my beta GZ!!!

When the season had begun this year, Kent had known it was going to be a good one. He had definitely been playing well, which for him meant better than his Calder winning rookie self. However, he hadn’t expected the call from his coach over the summer. With Anthony “Mafia” Marcone retiring at the end of last season, the Aces were in need of a new captain, and according to the coaching staff, Kent Parson, the 21-year-old face of the franchise, was fit for the job. And so, he accepted his new honor and responsibility with all the charm and grace that was expected. After the call, however, was a very different story.

It’s hard to explain what exactly went through his head when he hung up the call, but if anyone were to ever ask him, he would under no circumstances admit that his first thought was that he had to tell Jack. That was, of course, a very deep, dark, and still-bleeding wound that didn’t need to be touched. Although he was obviously ecstatic with this new turn of events, Kent was scared. In other words, he was nervous, but excited, and most likely totally unprepared.

Being captain meant being a leader. It meant taking time to work on himself and every other player on his team. His words and actions could inspire the team to victory or resign them to failure. Suddenly, the quality of the team would be entirely up to him. The players could be the best in the world, but if he didn’t work to keep them together, the Aces’ continuously growing ascension to hockey glory would fall short of a win over and over and over again. Then, he would be replaced or traded, shown to be nothing more than the second-best to someone else. 

Kent was good at pretending, though. He had the entire team convinced that they knew him, that they understood his quirks and superstitions. As far as they were concerned, he was happy and healthy and helping to lead them to victory. Which only meant that on the outside, everything was fine. On the inside, however, Kent hadn’t been happy in a long time. 

Things he had once enjoyed had slowly but surely become less and less interesting to him. Clubs didn’t have the same thrill of adrenalin and passion. Alcohol didn’t do enough to loosen him up and flow with his team after games. Besides hockey and Kit, he wasn’t really interested in anything.

Kent felt like a sham.

He was a good hockey player, he had his hopes and dreams ahead of him, but he was quickly finding that outside of his strengthening obsession with his cat and his gameplay, he wasn’t doing much of anything. The worst part of it all, though, was that his team didn’t notice. He was far too good at making everything seem alright. As long as he kept his head up and smiled, people couldn’t tell just how little stability he had left.

He had spent so much time trying to keep everyone from finding out his secrets that he hadn’t given himself any time to start developing real friendships, but maybe now that he was captain he would finally have his chance.

Kent’s plans hardly ever worked out how he wanted them to, though. In fact, all it took to upset the balance was a new player, Swoops. All Michael Swoope had to do was walk into preseason like the charming idiot he was to make things difficult. 

How was he supposed to start making friendships if he started making enemies instead? Swoops had all of that easy charm that Kent pretended to. There couldn’t be two of them. If there were two charming, sarcastic-yet-lovable assholes on the team, they would eventually have to choose. And with Kent’s track record, the choice wouldn’t be him.

Then the worst occurred. That entire first day of practice they had together had been filled with excellent pass after excellent pass. Swoops was an amazing player. He seemed to anticipate Kent’s moves and flow with him. There was no doubt in his mind that they would be on the same line once preseason started, which makes it really hard to hate someone.

Swoops was turning into a problem on and off the ice.

Outside of practice the guys flocked to him. He told the best stories and laughed at everyone’s jokes. He bought the whole team drinks at the bar and somehow managed to name all of the rookies behind his back. Kent was starting to feel like the team was pulling away from him and he didn’t even really know any of them well enough to pull them back.

On the ice he was fantastic; spinning around the offense, rolling through checks, executing perfect passes, and even out-scoring some of their best players. It was starting to feel like they were in a race to be the better player... and Kent was losing. No one else was noticing their quiet war, and Kent wasn’t even sure there was a war at all. Maybe he was just paranoid, or maybe he just needed to step up.

It seemed, however, that his version of stepping up was becoming more and more awkward around the team. The harder he tried the weirder looks he got. Soon enough people were probably going to start putting him in the “Reny level crazy” box. That was not a box he had ever expected to be in, but he kind of liked it. Maybe competing in charm wasn’t really going to be his forte, but what about competing in lovable weirdness? 

And so, the “Kent Parson is not as cool as he looks” plan was put into action.

This plan did not exactly consist of steps, but more of gradual releases of random information about himself. For example, that he named his cat Kit Purrson, after himself, or that he was terrible at pretty much every other sport besides hockey. He sucked at arcade games, but he had an entire room in his apartment filled with them, and about every other type of video game known to man. In other words, Kent Parson, aloof cool-guy, was kind of a dork.

After about a week he could already see the change, people respected him as captain, but off the ice, the chirping was ruthless. The worst of all had been after a visit back to his apartment with Reny, Chap, Swoops, several other team members, and a couple of the rookies who had been granted such illustrious nicknames as Germy, Professor, and CareBear. Needless to say, they had not all been happy with their nickname choices.

“Alright, for those of us who care, there’s beer in the fridge, and a cat on the couch. Drink the beer, but the cat is trained to kill.”

“You’re fucking weird Parse,” Chap so carefully provided soon after.

“Hey, I warned you,” He retorted with a quick raspberry to follow. No one had ever tried to say that Kent Parson was mature (off the ice, at least).

“So Cap, what are we here for?” Ilya Arkov asked to the other rookies’ obvious relief.

“Well CareBear, as you, Professor, and Germy are aware, I am newly captain, and as a new captain, I get to make new traditions. So, I have made the executive decision that you must all participate in a tournament of epic skill, the winner of which gets to take home the title of Best Rookie, and the chance to choose any other Ace as your final challenger.”

A couple of the other team members snickered behind him. They had all been advised on exactly what was coming and some of them had even started taking bets. As of right now, most of the money was behind Jeremy Rich. The winger was fast, and with his skills he might just be prepared, or at least as prepared as one can be when they’re about to play an epic air hockey tournament in front of an entire team of screaming ice hockey players.

From the moment Kent brought them into his arcade room and the boys saw their challenge, he knew this had been a good idea. It was harmless, a bit stupid, and looking to be lots of fun. It was exactly what Kent needed in a usually empty apartment. Plus, what was the downside to watching rookies howl in defeat over a game of air hockey?

It did seem that there was one downside, however. Peter Kassic’s Professor title fit him a little too well, because he, as best rookie, chose the weakest link to fight. In other words he chose Kent “Terrible at literally everything besides hockey” Parson to play last. This did not end well for Kent. Even a captain can’t come back from the lifetime chirping opportunity of having his ass kicked by a rookie in a simple game of air hockey.

There was a silver lining, though. It’s hard not to like the guy who loses with spectacular grace; meaning that while he lost any chance of ever having a moment’s peace about that fateful night, he gained an entire team that now saw him as a good captain and a good friend. Which meant that one month later, they were playing like a dream. 

His team was finally feeling like something more than just another piece of equipment he needed for the sport. With Swoops on his right, Reny in Goal, and Chap guarding his ass, he felt unstoppable, like this was their year. He told them as much after the first game when they were out enjoying the first victory of the season.

“We just have to keep playing them like this, boys, and you know we’ll see good old Stan at the end of the line.”

“Don’t jinx it, you idiot!” someone shouted from behind him.

“Oh come on, you superstitious bunch of grown-ass men. We’ll be fine!” he chirped back.

Reny gave him a solid side-eye. “Really Parsnip, you’re the worst of us all. Like two hours ago you were having a fit about the order we entered the game. ‘Captain has to go last,’ you said.”

“Did you just call me Parsnip?”

“Depends, would you prefer Parsley?”

A solid wall of laughter erupted from around the booths in the bar that roughly half of the team was currently smashed together in. 

“You guys are assholes,” Kent replied with no real malice behind it.

“Aww Captain, you know you love us,” one of the rookies shot back.

“Nah, I love hockey, you guys just happen to be an unfortunate workplace hazard.” He laughed then, with his team surrounding him. It didn’t feel like real happiness, but it was getting a little better.

The rest of the season passed like this, games and practices blending together, until they almost suddenly found themselves smack dab in the middle of the sixth game of the Stanley Cup playoffs. They were tied one to one in the second period with no one gaining any real ground as each shot and check seemed to end in fiercer hits and dirtier plays. Kent wouldn’t have been surprised if an all-out brawl erupted before the game was done. 

When the period ended, the score was still tied and the team was on edge. It only took 30 seconds of them poised around the locker room for Kent to realize that they were all looking at him. They had come into this game up three to two, and if they could get their shit together for this last period, they could leave this game victorious. The cup was practically in their hands; all they had to do was reach for it.

“We’ve done well this season,” he began with an even tone, “We’ve come out on top every time, and we’ve played every game like it was for the cup, so now all we have to do is play this one on our terms one more time. We are here on our territory, and I don’t know about you, but I’d like to be able to start celebrating our victory right here at home where no one can take it from us.”

Kent paused for a moment to take in the determined looks on his team’s faces.  
“I don’t think we can do this; I know we can.” If he hadn’t felt sure in himself before, he definitely did now. His team was releasing a burst of energy and strength within him because they trusted him. He was their captain, and his words could give them that little push they needed to keep moving towards their ultimate goal. They were going to win, and Kent had no doubt about that.

With newfound confidence, he pushed himself up from the locker room bench and led his team out the door and into the fray for what he hoped would be the last 20 minutes of the season. 

When the clock restarted, Kent was not part of the line jumping out onto the ice; however, they had time, and coach didn’t want him wasting his energy on nasty scrums and iced pucks. So he waited. He watched Reny make three saves over a five-minute period before the time was deemed right for his line to fall in. 

From the moment his skates touched the ice, he was ready and roaring with the energy of fans and teammates. His heart was beating fast and he was prepared for anything as he skated towards the face off circle. They still had plenty of time, but so did their opponents, which meant that from this point forward, every second and every step was precious.

Kent leaned down, clutching his stick and anticipating the fall of the puck from the referee’s hands. He could hear the man across from him making snide comments about him and his family. Yelling about how his mother was a whore, and he was a piece of shit about to eat ice, but he wasn’t going to let the words faze him. This might as well have been war.

Suddenly, like a crack of thunder, Kent surged forward with the puck firmly on his tape. With a flick of his wrist, the puck shot across the ice and slammed into the tape of Swoops’ stick. Swoops pulled ahead of a defenseman to his left milliseconds before he would have found himself trapped against the boards. With adrenalin pumping, Kent pushed himself forward to meet him.

He practically felt the thud as Chap checked an opposing team member into the glass behind him to prevent Kent from losing his lead. In almost slow motion, he watched Swoops shoot around behind the net and pass the puck to him. Without thinking, Kent shot the puck forward up and into the net.

Before he even had a chance to process the goal, air horns were blasting from above him and his team was crashing into him from behind. He nearly fell from the sudden impact, but kept his balance due solely to the fact that his teammates essentially had him surrounded. Their captain had just scored them a game-leading goal, and that was all the push they needed to turn around and score three more before the final buzzer sounded.

The Las Vegas Aces had, without a doubt, just blasted their way through the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and Kent couldn’t believe how genuinely happy he felt. Christmas morning and his birthday all wrapped into one couldn’t possibly ever be better than this moment, when he was lifting Lord Stanley high above his head and doing a lap around the rink. Possibly the only thing better than this feeling was looking out onto his team and feeling real pride at what they had achieved together.

Kent wasn’t sure that he could call them all friends, but when he passed the cup to Reny, who fucking deserved it after some spectacular saves, he felt so much more connected to them than he had before. He felt good as captain, like he finally deserved to be on top of the world, and for once he wasn’t thinking about anything else that had come before this moment.

Happiness is, however, fleeting, especially for those who reach the top and have the farthest to fall. All it takes is one misstep to find it all crashing around you once again. For Kent, all it took was one moment of bravery to unsettle himself all over again. He decided that he needed to see Jack.

He didn’t decide this right away, of course, and it hadn’t even entirely been his own idea. The seeds of doubt had all been sown from the moment an extremely inebriated Professor had mentioned how happy they were to have Kent as a captain instead of some drug addict. 

“What the fuck are you talking about, man?” Kent slurred, drunk on victory and far too much tequila.

“You know, Zimmermann. We coulda had Zimmermann, but instead we got you.”

It’s amazing how similar a compliment can sound to an insult when you’ve let it fester for weeks. The difference of tone is far less noticeable even moments after the words are said, and to a man who knew Jack better than anyone else, the line was even thinner. Jack deserved what Kent had, but Kent had gotten it anyway because of a twist of fate. A difference in one number, and now everyone knew him, and everyone hated Jack.

Jack was the fallen prince; Kent was the risen king. Jack had the legacy; Kent had the fame. So why was it so hard to feel good about what he had? Jack didn’t deserve to be treated like shit, but that didn’t mean that Kent should hate himself. Kent was apparently just Jack’s problem. No matter how hard he tried to talk to Jack and make him understand that he still loved him, he was ignored. 

Kent could call him over and over, and leave him a hundred texts, but he would never get an answer. Even Jack’s parents seemed to try to give him the cold shoulder. He hadn’t been the one to do anything wrong, and yet he felt like the one punished. Both guilt and nostalgia can be powerful motivators.

Motivation and falling off his high of winning were, in Kent’s case, the exact recipe for an unplanned trip to see an old friend. It was just shy of two months from his cup win when Kent finally managed the courage to take the step out of his car and onto the property of the Samwell Men’s Hockey Haus. The rundown old building seemed out of place between some of the much nicer frats and sororities that lined the streets. 

It had character, in a way. In other ways, it had mold and failing support beams and should probably be condemned. It figures that Jack would have holed himself up here. He probably felt that it matched the state of his soul or something equally as poetic as a liberal arts school student would expect. Kent, of course, knew some of the other reasons Jack had most likely chosen this school. ‘1 in 4’ sounded a hell of a lot better than ‘closeted in the NHL’. Then again, the latter was still likely to happen anyway.

Kent stood there a moment longer just examining the building that was set so strangely amongst the warm New England scenery before taking a step closer to the door. He didn’t even get the chance to knock, though, as two people rushed right out of the house and caused a domino effect that resulted in him being smashed to the ground underneath what he could only assume were statistically average defenseman. Basically, he was rather crushed.

“Oh, sorry, dude,” the taller blond one said as he dragged himself off of the top of the pile.

“Same, man,” echoed the other as the blond pulled him up.

A sudden quiet seemed to fall over them as they both reached down to help lift him up. He could see the exact moment recognition sparked its way into their eyes.

“Holy shit dude, you’re Kent Parson.”

Their exclamations reverberated across the front lawn and into the house as several people poured out of the dilapidated house. Kent was unceremoniously yanked to his feet by what could only be the majority of the school’s resident hockey team. He very quickly found himself being paraded inside and forced to sign autographs and take pictures. It’s not that Kent wouldn’t normally oblige an adoring fan, but this wasn’t exactly what he had expected when he got here. He had only meant to find Jack, not everyone but him.

Roughly three minutes into his current predicament, someone came barreling down the steps screaming, “What the fuck is going on here?”

The loud and mostly naked man was greeted with various exclamations of excitement from his team below. His moment of confusion was quickly ended as a startlingly familiar voice cut through the crowd.

“Why are you here, Kent?”

Jack’s voice seemed to stifle all of the noise in the house in one instant. It was like without warning, all of the joy had been sucked out of the room. No one around him was speaking, and even the loud one with long hair seemed awed. Kent knew that tone very well, but he’d never before been on the receiving end of it. Even when Jack had been his captain in Juniors, he had never once looked at Kent like he was right now.

Jack looked beyond pissed, and Kent realized it was entirely because of him.

The guy standing next to Jack seemed to take his momentary silence as need to take over   
the situation. 

“Hey, everyone back off for a minute and let two old friends talk,” he said with an air of false confidence as he pushed down the stairs to reach Kent.

“I’m Shitty, and you probably want to talk to Jack, so I’d suggest going up there sooner than later.”

The unusually-named hockey player was obviously as confused by Jack’s behavior as he was. 

“Thanks man, I’ll just go, I think. I can tell when I’m not wanted.”

Shitty’s face changed slightly before he added, “It’s probably better if you talk.”

“Yeah,” Kent replied quietly as he looked back up the steps at a still glaring Jack, “I’ll do that.”

Kent never got the chance, though. The moment Shitty herded the rest of the team into the kitchen, Jack started down the steps. His glare seemed to intensify with each step, and when he reached the bottom, Kent felt small.

“You shouldn’t have come here Kent. This is my place and not yours. You don’t get to barge in here and act like I wanted to see you.”

“Jack, we haven’t seen each other in three years, I miss you.”

“You don’t miss shit, Kenny, you just wanted to come here and rub it in my face. Just remember that if I were there, you wouldn’t have any of it. It was luck, all of it, so don’t come here and act like you suddenly care. You don’t miss shit.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Jack. How many times have you ignored me and shut me out? I miss you Jack… I still love you.”

“Kenny, don’t.”

“Jack, what are we?”

“We aren’t anything, Kent.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Jack.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Kent. Get out of my house.”

Kent looked away from Jack then, feeling like he had just been laid out on the ice. They knew far too much about each other for this to go any other way. He should have known Jack would be like this, he should have known there wouldn’t be some kind of tearful homecoming. This wasn’t a sappy chick flick, this was real life, and in real life, people change.

This wasn’t the Jack he knew back in Juniors, this was the Jack everyone else saw. The roaring monster that came out during games and slew dragons. Jack Zimmermann had been through hell and back without Kent there, and there was nothing he could do to fix it, so Kent turned around and left. It didn’t stop him from looking back in the hopes that in the minute it took him to walk back to his car, Jack had changed his mind.

Nobody came through the door after Kent, and he was alone again standing outside away from Jack, but this time the only thing separating them was each other. In the end, Jack always had a way of shaking him to his core and unraveling his whole perfectly-placed façade. It’s funny how he once would have welcomed that fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)!  
> Feel free to leave comments and kudos.  
> \-------  
> P.S. Check me out on tumblr - ittsybittsybunny - come ask for minifics or to talk!
> 
> And special thanks to my beta GZ!!!


	4. Mr. Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't make yourself forget, in fact, sometimes you just make it worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kent just keeps getting shit on honestly - I'd say I was sorry, but then we wouldn't have a plot and I would also be lying (but only a little).  
> \------------  
> P.S. Check me out on tumblr - ittsybittsybunny - come ask for minifics or to talk!
> 
> And special thanks to my beta GZ!!!

Kent managed to keep himself locked away for almost a month. Until practices started in September, he moped around his apartment, spending almost all of his time with Kit. He didn’t even take the time to leave his home, except to buy groceries. There was a gym in his apartment, he had access to Internet and television, and he still hated himself. All of it was a perfect combination to make Kent Parson a summertime hermit.

That is, until summer was over, and no amount of replaying the incident with Jack in his head could keep the real world from closing in. He was the captain of the Aces; he had a job to do and a team to help train. However, when you randomly disappear over the summer, only to reappear at practice again, typically your friends aren’t exactly pleased.

“Yo, Parse, what the fuck happened to you this summer, dude? You just completely went off the radar!” Germy yelled as he stepped into the locker room.

Two seconds into his first time interacting with people in weeks, and he was already feeling drained from the first question.

“Nothing, man, I went out to see my mom for a bit, my sister too,” he lied easily, “Trained a while, then mostly hung out with Kit. I was just laying low, man. After those parties we had when we won the cup, didn’t need to bring more attention to our party animal image.”

The end wasn’t entirely a lie, as captain, his party-boy portrayal was often captured more readily by the paparazzi than anyone else on the team. Las Vegas was called ‘Sin City’ for a reason, so it wasn’t surprising that their team had some of the most famous scandals when it came to drunken escapades (and sexcapades). 

His former rookie seemed happy enough with the answer, and went back to pulling on his gear. Chap and Reny; however, had known him from day one, they were not so easily fooled. So, after their fairly successful first practice, he wasn’t surprised to find them waiting behind in the locker room for him. What was surprising though, was the addition of Swoops to their mix.

“Hey guys what’s up, long time no see,” he casually attempted.

“Dude,” Chap began, “no dice.”

“In Vegas?” Kent chirped back.

Chap’s face fell into a less-than-pleased grimace at the words. Maybe now wasn’t really the best time for joking.

“Parse, man, come on. You don’t get to just disappear like that and not expect to have your friends want answers.” Swoops began.

“Swoops, it’s like I already told Germy, I just had a lazy summer. Wasn’t anything exciting going on, I promise.”

“Parsnip, if you were just being lazy, you wouldn’t have been avoiding us,” Reny chipped in.

“Come on guys, I wasn’t avoiding you, I was just dealing with some stuff.”

“Some stuff you couldn’t tell your friends?” Chap shot back.

“My shit’s my shit, man,” Kent replied curtly.

“Usually people share their shit, you know, make it a little less shitty that way,” Chap continued.

“Maybe I’m just not that kind of person, ever thought of that?”

“Parse,” Reny added, frowning, “You were doing so well, what happened?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Kent demanded.

“Hey man, don’t yell at him, he doesn’t deserve shit just because you can’t get yours together,” Chap defended.

“My shit is together just fine, if you want to stick your head up my ass to check, you can. If not, just let me get out of here, alright? I don’t need this right now,” Kent retorted as he attempted to push his way through the wall of hockey players in front of him. 

He made it halfway out before Swoops caught his arm. “Kent, don’t be a dick just because you can, it’s never gonna work out for you.”

“Hmpph,” Kent breathed out through his nose, “Worked just fine for me so far.”

This time, no one held him back as he carried his bag out of the arena and towards his car. It was barely 11 A.M. and he already desperately needed a drink. 

He waited, though. Waited until he was home in his apartment again, alone except for his cat. He waited until the silence was too heavy on his ears and he couldn’t stand to stay quiet any longer. Without another thought to the time or his current state of mind, he changed into something club-worthy, and headed out the door.

It wasn’t hard to find a club in Vegas; finding one that didn’t recognize a hockey player was slightly more difficult. He had usual spots though, places he hadn’t visited in months, and one he hadn’t visited for even longer. It was his favorite in many respects. The building was too dark to see, the music too loud to hear, and the people there definitely had no fucking clue who he was. There was no better place to find someone for the night.

That was part of the reason he hadn’t been to that particular club since before the cup. He couldn’t go when too many people might see him or realize who he was. There were so many variables when his life was a news story during that time. But now, as the new season began, no one cared what Kent Parson was doing, and they wouldn’t until he had done something really wrong, or really right. He was having trouble telling the difference anymore.

The club was perfect for him that night. They had two days in between practices, and he had nothing to lose and everything to forget. His life was going to shit, his best friend still refused to talk to him, and he was already managing to blow it with his new friends, too. His track record was pretty torn to hell.

Inside, the club made everything too easy to forget. The lights were low and the drinks were poured with a heavy hand. Within an hour, he was already feeling freer than he had in weeks. He should do this every night.

Everything slotted into place, though, when he noticed someone across the dance floor, staring at him. The guy was tall, well-built, and dark-haired, exactly Kent’s type. Soon enough, Kent broke their staring contest by standing up from his seat at the bar and heading to the center of the floor with a smirk. He had prey to catch after all.

The other man was obviously interested, pulling up to Kent almost immediately after he began dancing. They were both attractive, and Kent was definitely drunk. It was the perfect combination for him to start grinding against the dark-haired man. 

They started slow, moving to the music, but barely touching. As the beat picked up and their eyes met, so did their bodies. In no time flat, Kent felt hands grab the sides of his hips and pull him closer. Their touches became rougher and rougher with each song, a combination of alcohol and adrenalin. It didn’t take long for sloppy kisses to drift down Kent’s neck.

It took even less time for those kisses to turn into bites. 

Five minutes later, the two of them were climbing into a cab, still practically making out as they went. Without another thought, he gave the driver his address and continued with his partner. When they arrived at his building, he smirked at the other man, handed the driver an overly generous tip for putting up with them and dragged them both into the lobby.

Kent liked living dangerously, but as soon as they entered the building, he pulled away and motioned for his nameless friend to follow. The dark haired man simply quirked an eyebrow and followed Kent into the elevator. Once they had reached Kent’s apartment and the door was shut, Kent let loose even more than he had before.

There was nothing sweet or sensual about their actions, only hard and frantic. This was not a meeting of two lovers, this was a means to an end, and Kent needed that end to come sooner rather than later. He needed to forget over and over and over again until he no longer had enough to remember. It would be hard enough with his life as it was, but for now, all he wanted was to pull his partner from their spot on the wall and into his bedroom.

With a quick tug, and a slam of the door, he found himself pressed into the mattress as the other man ripped off his shirt. Kent let himself go blank.

\-----

By morning, Kent was alone again, nursing one of the worst hangovers of his life. He was pleasantly loose though after last night. His body was sore, but he felt less tense. It wasn’t perfect, but as he proceeded to leave out food for Kit and make his own breakfast, he was content in himself and his choices.

Kent was one to regret his choices fairly easily, however. That’s what had gotten him into this situation in the first place, and as he went to check his phone, he realized his mistake. There, from an unrecognized number, was a picture of him and Mr. Unknown together from last night, at the end of last night to be more precise.

He should have known something like this could happen one day; that someone he took home would know who he was and try to hurt him because of it. The man from last night had simply gotten there first, and he wanted money to stay just an unknown man from last night. He had all of the power in the world over Kent, and Kent had no idea what to do

With one click of a button the man could send that picture everywhere and start the greatest scandal in hockey history. Kent could see the article in Deadspin now, “Captain of the Gays,” or something equally offensive. Those types of people wanted money and views, and Kent had made it easy for them.

What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)!  
> Feel free to leave comments and kudos.


	5. Bruce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kent seeks help, but not everyone is really there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kent fixes one problem and discovers another.  
> \------------  
> P.S. Check me out on tumblr - ittsybittsybunny - come ask for minifics or to talk!
> 
> And special thanks to my beta GZ!!!

Apparently, “what the fuck he was supposed to do now,” was not going to magically come to him in a dream or through some other form of osmosis. Kent couldn’t sit in his apartment paralyzed, waiting for an answer to spontaneously appear. He couldn’t let the fear of the situation keep him from acting. If he just kept waiting, he would wait himself right past his blackmailer’s deadline.

So, Kent couldn’t think too hard on what was happening. He simply needed to act in his own best interests, and in this case, the people who would benefit most from helping him were his management team. The PR guys for the Aces were good people, and it was technically their job to handle stuff like this, though their job would probably be a bit easier right now had he decided to inform them previously about the state of his sexuality.

Basically, they had no plan for the first openly gay man in the NHL being on their team, not that he was ready to come out. Sure, they had plans for drunken Vegas marriages and girlfriend scandals, but those probably seemed a heck of a lot more likely than a gay player. Which frankly was stupid. If 10% of the human population was some kind of not-straight, then realistically, they should have prepared for something like this.

And maybe they had, but they sure as hell didn’t expect Kent “Party Boy” Parson to be the one.

He didn’t have another choice though. Kent needed to call Bruce, their GM, and then spend a few hours having a heart-to-heart with their entire PR team. Bruce would be the harder one to call; he may be a good guy, but Kent didn’t really know him. PR dealt with the situation regardless, but Bruce technically controlled Kent’s career. He may be their best player, but teams had gotten rid of guys for “behavioral issues” before, and he did not want to be swept under the rug before he even had a chance to turn 23.

Picking up the phone to make the call was one of the most difficult things Kent had ever done. There was so much riding on how the call was received, and as the ring tone sounded through the phone, it felt almost like he was awaiting a death sentence.

“Hello, Bruce Carmon’s office, this is Andrew speaking, how may I help you?”

“Hey, Drew. It’s Kent.”

“Parson,” Drew sighed, “I’m assuming if you’re calling before 10 AM, this isn’t for social hour.”

“Have I ever called you for anything else before?” Kent tried to laugh.

“No, I guess you haven’t. So, what hole do we need to dig you out of this time? Let me guess, drunken night out end in disaster, got a girl pregnant, or…Jesus, Kent, you didn’t get married to some hooker, right?” Drew was always a delight to speak to.

“No, god, not that stuff. Seriously, what kinds of things do you think I get up to out here?”

“This is Las Vegas, Kent. _You_ could manage to find a way to do anything, especially with the reputation that precedes you.”

“You know half of that is just bullshit from the tabloids right? I party just as much as anyone else on the team, less even, most of the time,” Kent replied, exasperated.

“It doesn’t matter really what you do, Kent. It matters what people think you did. So, again, what did you do?” Drew’s voice hardened slightly as he finished.

“I’d really rather just talk to Bruce about this, honestly. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t need to know, to know.”

“Anything I can tell him so he’s prepared?”

“Just tell him…tell him that no one else has ever done it before, and it could really do some damage.”

Drew hesitated before responding, “I’ll tell him.”

The line buzzed lightly, some type of hold tone that was startlingly more jarring than terrible music. He really could have used some shitty music to calm him down at the moment.

“Hello, Kent? This is Bruce. What’s this big thing that’s apparently going to end the world as we know it?” Bruce barked down the line.

Bruce wasn’t the kind of man to wait for pretty descriptions of events, Kent had learned that the hard way, unfortunately. It would be best to just tell him outright.

“I’m being blackmailed, by a guy I met the other night. He has some picture of me.”

“What kind of picture Kent, I need you to be specific.”

“Naked pictures.”

The line went quiet. “Jesus Kent,” Bruce finally said, “why do you always do these things to us. You make it so hard to deal with you every goddamn time. Just get your ass down here as fast as possible. We need to talk logistics.”

“I can be there in less than half an hour.”

Kent didn’t wait for Bruce’s reply as he hung up the phone and fell back onto the couch. He really was a fuck-up, wasn’t he? Every time he decided to do something for himself it blew up right back in his face. Maybe he was just too selfish, and this was some bullshit karma coming back at him. “Those at the top have the farthest to fall” and all that bullcrap.

\-----

As Kent drove from his apartment to the management office, his head was buzzing with noise and possibilities. So much could go wrong during this impromptu meeting, and no matter how he swung it; Kent couldn’t get around the fact that some stranger was basically forcing him out of the closet. Before today he had relative anonymity when it came to his hookups, but now that management was going to find out, it was going to be harder and harder to get away with it.

From now on they were going to be on the lookout in every picture and in every news story for any little thing that could possibly out Kent and make it harder for them and the team. He was now a liability, someone who could shrink their already small fan base and bring negative attention to the franchise. It was such bullshit that his sexuality had that kind of power. Why did it have to matter who he was attracted to, and why did people have to hate him because of it?

After parking his car outside the management building, Kent waited for his heartbeat to steady. He couldn’t go in there acting like a scared and emotional child, especially if he was the only one who was going to fight for himself. Everyone else was going to focus on shutting him down, but he needed to focus on keeping them from hurting him. No one else was looking after him but him.

With a shaky breath in and out, Kent stepped out of his car and walked towards the building, and his doom. Once inside, however, the humdrum of office life was actually sort of calming. No one was glaring at him, fire wasn’t spewing from the windows, and he was able to make his approach to Bruce’s office fairly unnoticed. Bruce’s glare upon entering the room was not as reassuring.

“Kent, take a seat. We have a lot to talk about.” he began evenly, “I’m going to need you to tell me exactly what we’re dealing with here, so I can figure out how to bail you out of your latest mess.”

Kent fumbled over his thoughts, trying to figure out exactly how to begin. “I...Well you see…-I,” he stopped to collect his thoughts, running his hand through his hair. “I’m gay, alright? I’m gay and I was feeling like shit so I spent the night out. No one saw me, I didn’t get caught, I just brought a guy home and we had a fun night. He left before I woke up, and then a few hours later, I checked my phone and saw pictures of us together from a random number. The guy obviously knew who I was and figured I wouldn’t want anyone knowing about what happened between us,” Kent paused his rant to breathe, “He wants money or he sells the story.”

Bruce stared at him, not speaking as he processed the information. Kent had rushed it out so quickly he wasn’t even sure if he understood it entirely. Someone was trying to exploit him for money, and it fucking hurt.

“You know, you’re pretty lucky Kent, not many teams would put up with as much shit as you’ve put us through. Your attitude and performance on the ice is the only thing keeping you here at this point. I mean, come on! 90% of what you seem to do is jeopardize your own career. You started off with underage partying and drinking, practically getting yourself arrested a dozen times, then you drifted to legal levels of awful, and now this. It’s like you want to get yourself kicked out of the team, or the NHL entirely.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Kent said, pulling in on himself.

“Kent, if you were sorry, you wouldn’t have pulled half of this shit in the first place. What are we going to do with you?” Bruce rubbed his hands across his face and picked up the phone on his desk. “Yeah, Jenny, it’s Bruce. We need a clean up team pronto; it looks like we have a lawsuit on our hands. Yep, yep. Naked pictures, Kent let ‘em get out. Parson. Yeah, Yeah, I know. I’ll send him over to you when I’m done, probably less than half an hour. Got it. Thanks.”

Hearing a one-sided phone conversation about yourself while your boss glared at you like you were the scum of the earth was under no circumstances a pleasant experience.

“Kent, at this point we can hope to get through this as quietly as possible, or else you’re going to be coming out to the public in the worst way possible. Honestly, you are currently your own worst enemy. You can’t keep doing this, because we can’t keep covering it up. Plus, how do think your teammates are going to feel about having you in the locker room if they find out? I know I wouldn’t trust you around me the way you are, captain or not. You’re going to have to keep this away from them.”

“What do you expect me to do, I can’t change who I am!” Kent nearly yelled.

“This would be a lot easier if you could,” Bruce confessed, sitting back into his chair.

“Don’t you think I know that? It’s not something I can exactly change, you know? It’s not something to be fixed. I-I like who I am, I’m not suddenly just going to stop feeling the things I feel,” Kent lifted his eyes up from his own hands, pleading.

“Hey, Kent, I get it. We can’t change what we want, and you need to know I’m your friend in all this. I’ve always got your back when you mess up, and I’ve always had it before, that’s not going to change just because you…are a little different from the rest of us. I can help you out, get you what you need, but you have to know we can’t let anyone know about any of this. The team’s reputation is at stake. I always take care of you boys, now I just need you to care a little back. You’re captain, you understand.”

“I-uh…I’m not really sure I understand your point,” Kent replied, suddenly uneasy at Bruce’s tone.

“Come on, Parson, this is Vegas. There are plenty of people I can get for you, ones we can keep quiet. You wouldn’t be the first athlete to spend a little extra money on a ‘friend’. I’m sure we can find you someone pretty, or whatever it is you’re looking for. I take care of all of that for you, and you never mention any of this to the team or anyone else. It’s simple and easy. Plus, if something goes wrong, it’s a hell of a lot easier to control if we pay the guy.”

“You want me to-“

“I want you to do what’s best for the team,” Bruce interrupted. “The world doesn’t revolve around you, and just think about protecting them. It’s an easy choice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Kent whispered.

“There’s a boy. Now, head over to Jenny’s office in PR and make sure to give her as much information about the guy as possible so we can shut this down. Oh, and Kent,” he added as Kent was almost fully out the door, “it would be in everyone’s best interests to keep quiet about our…little deal. Understand?”

Kent nodded, unsure of how else to respond. What else can you possibly say to a man who basically just told you to hire a prostitute to keep your career from ending? He was right though, Kent didn’t want to hurt his team, and he really didn’t want to find out what would happen if they knew. Kent couldn’t lose another friend.

\-----

His meeting with Jenny was far more procedural than Bruce’s. Jenny needed facts and details, anything he could give her to shut the scandal down before it happened. She was good at her job in that way, making sure to have every base covered. When they had finished going over logistics, she had asked him what he planned to do after they shut this down.

“I don’t want to come out if that’s what you mean. I’m not ready, and I don’t want to be the first, you know.”

“Of course Kent, I understand,” she replied sincerely, “ I can draw up a couple basic plans just in case, though. Some for if you decide to come out, and some for if you are put in a situation where you don’t have a choice in the matter. The media is cruel, but we can work around it if we have something set up.”

“Thank you Jen, I appreciate it.”

“Hey, it’s my job to look after you boys.”

“You know, it’s funny, Bruce said the same thing.”

\-----

That night, Kent sat on his bed, thinking about Bruce’s words. They hurt like hell, but so much of what he said was true. He could really fuck this up for everyone else, and who knows how they would feel about them then. The hardest part of it all was that he didn’t have anyone to talk to. No one else knew he was gay except for… _Jack_.

Kent could call him, leave a sob story over the phone, hope and pray that Jack would care. There was no love lost between them, but would it kill him to just try to be Kent’s friend again? They didn’t have to be together; he just wanted to feel safe. He just wanted to feel loved. So, Kent made his second worst decision over the last 24 hours: he called Jack.

“Jack, I-“ Kent began as the voicemail answered. Of course Jack wouldn’t pick up. “I need to talk to you Jack, I don’t feel safe--I don’t feel happy. I just don’t feel anything. Being around you was one of the last times I felt something in so long, please, just call me back,” Kent choked out, tears building in his eyes. “I miss you. Please, I just need to talk to you; I can’t talk to anyone else. I-“

The voicemail cut him off, asking if he wished to rerecord the message. Kent pressed the number to delete it instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)!  
> Feel free to leave comments and kudos.


	6. The Rest of the Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the rest of the story or at least the complete outline as I would have written it. I, unfortunately, have lost a lot of my passion for this story, but I could come back to it someday. Until then, here is what would have happened (and the sequel).

Characters:  
• Kent “Parse” Parson – Captain of the Aces/Center  
• Eric “Chap” Chapman – Defenseman  
• Max “Reny” Reynolds - Goalie  
• Michael “Swoops” Swoope – Winger  
• Anthony “Mafia” Marcone – Former Captain and Center  
• Ilya “CareBear” Arkov – Defenseman  
• Jeremy “Germy” Rich -  
• Peter “The Professor” Kassic –  
• 

Chp.3 

\- Kent winning Stanley cup 2012  
\- Kent drafted 2009, played season 09-10, 10-11, 11-12 = Stanley cup and asked to be captain… goes to see Jack  
\- Goes to house, pumped and happy  
\- Johnson answers the door (Johnson weirdness moment about canon)  
\- Kent sees Jack in the back when Jack comes to see what going on  
\- Jack = pissed to see him  
\- Jack also kind of irrational (How he treated Bitty before)  
\- Shitty confused… Jack’s not usually like this (See him watching the whole exchange)  
\- Johnson tells them to go talk in his room  
\- They go, Jack slams the door  
\- Jack = jerk – Kent has and is what he wants most, feels like a failure  
\- Kent = scared and unsure  
\- Wanted to share with Jack, still loves him  
\- Asks if Jack ever loved him  
\- Jack doesn’t answer  
\- Jack wants to hurt Kent with his anger  
\- Jack resents him  
\- Kent can’t see past his former vision of Jack to realize this  
\- Complains about what they used to have/Jack ignoring him  
\- As he is rushing out the front door some Freshman (Ransom and Hoslter) freak out about if that was Kent Parson or not  
\- Shitty tells them to leave it alone  
\- (Kent hears this exchange as he is walking away)  
\- Leaves and cries in the car

Chp.4

\- Kent still upset about what happened with Jack  
\- Doesn’t share with team/lies to them  
\- Chap and other OC’s I haven’t made yet are worried  
\- Kent decides to go out  
\- Proceed to Vegas montage of sin  
\- Going out and hooking up  
\- Clubbing and drinking – unhealthy behaviors  
\- Ignores team + Kit  
\- Tries to forget about his problems  
\- His problems fester (as usual)  
\- Ignoring his growing mental illness  
\- Has a one night stand  
\- Seems fine until guy messages him a threat with a picture of them naked in bed  
\- Tries to blackmail him  
\- Kent is very scared  
\- Has a melt down/panic attack – references that this is not the only one that happened recently

Chp.5

\- Kent dealing with his sexuality and new anxiety  
\- Talks to management  
\- Management seems upset  
\- Make it seem like everything Kent does is jeopardizing his career  
\- Help “out of the goodness of their hearts”  
\- Say Kent is his own worst enemy  
\- They’re right, but for the wrong reasons  
\- Gets a plan ready  
\- They help with blackmail/sue guy  
\- Keep it hidden and under the rug  
\- Don’t want anyone to know  
\- Kent is they’re best player, can’t lose him – sexuality is irrelevant in that  
\- However, GM suggests staying in closet  
\- Could damage career and team  
\- Bullies Kent into staying quiet about everything  
\- Tells him if he wants to keep it quiet should try prostitutes since they can’t tell anyone = illegal for them too  
\- GM says he can arrange it for him  
\- Acts like he is Kent’s only “friend” in this  
\- General abuse and manipulation tactics  
\- Guy is a real ass  
\- Kent hates himself, but is trying to deal with his sexuality = really misses jack, doesn’t feel safe  
\- He calls Jack, leaves a message with what happened  
\- Jack doesn’t call back (he deleted the message without listening)

Chp.6

\- Working with team  
\- Doing well  
\- Point streak (2014-2015)  
\- Catching up with current timeline  
\- Feeling lost and scared again  
\- Been following GM’s advice, feels wrong  
\- Internalized homophobia  
\- Goes to see Jack because he wants to feel safe and need a friend  
\- Asks Jack to join the team  
\- Gets angry – Jack makes him leave  
\- Decides he needs to stop pining  
\- Jack doesn’t love him anymore, needs to get over his shit  
\- Wants to come out to the team  
\- Decides to tell Reny and Chap first, they’re the people he feels closest to  
\- Both surprised but okay with it, Chap’s from San Fran, so feels easier to him, Reny is just Reny  
\- Both proud of him for coming out to them  
\- He decides to tell them about the GM  
\- Both pissed a GM  
\- Thinks he should tell the whole team so then the GM can’t bother him  
\- Can’t get kicked off team, he’s record book best player  
\- They won’t trade him  
\- Team pushes for new GM  
\- Management listens  
\- Can’t do much if your team refuses to play

Chp.7

\- Kent beginning to feel good and safe again  
\- Goes on actual dates  
\- Lifestyle getting healthier  
\- Still worried about getting outed  
\- Hanging out with team more  
\- Feels safe around them  
\- Becoming more than just superficial friends  
\- Meets cute guy, has a nice date, it doesn’t work out, but he feels good, like he’s moving on getting better  
\- Transition/Filler chapter = just Kent getting better

Chp.8

\- Doing really well in hockey and life  
\- Not dating anyone seriously, but happy  
\- Working on his independence  
\- Feels good  
\- Going to have to play Falconers  
\- Scared to see Jack, but doesn’t want to tell team and fuel rumors about Jack  
\- Wants to protect Jack  
\- Still loves Jack, but no longer in love  
\- Texts Jack  
\- Gets to the game in Providence  
\- Sees Jack, smiles, Jack smiles back  
\- Feels good  
\- Going to be a good game  
\- Tater is very protective of Jack  
\- Hassles Kent all game  
\- Calls him tiny  
\- Kent says everyone is small compared to Tater  
\- Kent thinks he’s cute “for an asshole d-man/winger??”  
\- Very close game, ends 3-2 Falconers  
\- So proud and happy for Jack  
\- Goes up and hugs him after game  
\- Jack is confused, but Kent is just so happy  
\- It rubs off a little  
\- Jack is a little happy too, feeling in a better place because of Eric  
\- Invites him to his apartment for dinner  
\- Eric is there  
\- Kent knows they’re together because he knows Jack, doesn’t say anything  
\- Tries to be nice to Bitty  
\- Bitty really doesn’t like him  
\- Gets better when he sees how happy Kent is for Jack  
\- Kent ends up talking about problems in Vegas  
\- Jack is pissed and surprised  
\- Bitty gets it = he’s a good person and feels for Kent  
\- Jack asks why he never told him before  
\- Kent says he tried  
\- Jack feels like an ass  
\- Kent laughs and says they’re both at fault  
\- Jack was an ass, so was Kent – they’re relationship was unhealthy, they’re friendship doesn’t have to be  
\- Jack says he’s in a good place now with Bitty  
\- Kent says he agrees  
\- Bitty and Kent have a talk outside the apartment door  
\- Kent explains some stuff – Bitty listens  
\- They reach a mutual understanding of protecting Jack  
\- Bitty says he’d like to try to know Kent better because he used to be a huge part of Jack’s life  
\- They exchange numbers and twitter handles  
\- He feels better now  
\- Goes back to team and good  
\- They ask him what’s up  
\- “Just happy to see an old friend”

Chp.9/10

\- Doing well in games  
\- Working through playoffs  
\- Make it to Stanley Cup Finals against Falconers  
\- Ready for the best game of his life  
\- Pumped and excited  
\- First 2 games at home  
\- Next 2 in Vegas  
\- 5th in Providence  
\- 6th in Vegas  
\- Final in Providence  
\- G1 = 0-1 Falconers (Providence)  
\- G2 = 2-3 Falconers OT (Providence)  
\- G3 = 1-8 Aces (Vegas)  
\- G4 = 0-4 Aces (Vegas)  
\- G5 = 2-4 Falconers (Providence)  
\- G6 = 2-5 Aces (Vegas)  
\- G7 = 0-1 Falconers (Providence)  
\- Happy to be playing against Jack, feels like what he always wanted  
\- Runs into Tater after the first game  
\- Makes joke about how he’s always after him  
\- “Just protecting Captain” – Tater  
\- Kent laughs  
\- Likes Tater  
\- Thinks he’s cute  
\- Ends up seeing him after every game  
\- Goes out for drinks after 6th game  
\- Close playoffs down to the final game  
\- In the final minute Jack makes the wining goal (Shoots it in with a spinorama to avoid a check - Like the Malkin one)  
\- Kent has never felt prouder  
\- He feels happy and healthy  
\- Afterwards the team is sad they lost  
\- He tells them to cheer up  
\- Talks about how well they played and how close it was and how they always have more time  
\- They tried they’re best, but so did the other team  
\- Someone had to win; next time it will be us!  
\- Decides to stay in Providence to see Jack and congratulate him  
\- Runs into Tater again at Jacks – congratulates him as well  
\- Happy to see Bitty and Jack  
\- Jack tells him he wants to come out  
\- He loves Bitty wants to be able to be open for him (Bitty just graduated and they want to live together)  
\- Kent is happy for him thinks it’s a big step and thanks him  
\- He says he wants to come out soon too  
\- Feels like its his next step to a healthier life  
\- Jack thinks it will be good for both of them  
\- Afterwards starts talking to Tater at Jacks  
\- Starts flirting  
\- Tater kind of flirts back (leaves Kent a little confused and interested)  
\- Gets his number  
\- Promises to text him (parallel to Jack and Bitty)  
\- END OF FIRST FIC

Second Fic (ALL THE PATATER!!!!!!)

Chp.1

\- Jack has come out/Kent hasn’t yet (probably in August)  
\- Back in Vegas  
\- Been texting Tater  
\- Going to see his family in New York  
\- Tells Tater  
\- Tater says he should come and visit  
\- Kent agrees/is excited  
\- Not sure if Tater even likes guys, but he is happy to be around him  
\- Tater tells him to call him Lyosha since they’re good friends now  
\- Explains Russian nicknames  
\- He is coming for a week/5 days??  
\- Staying at apartment with family  
\- Family also has a house Kent helped pay for  
\- Plans whole trip for Tater  
\- Totally not planning dates  
\- Tries to give him a full New York experience  
\- Kent definitely doesn’t have a crush

Chp.2

\- Kent meets Tater at airport  
\- Tater crushes him in a bear hug  
\- Is adorable Russian teddy bear  
\- Takes Tater to his apartment  
\- Meets Kit in all her glory – Kent dotes and gloats  
\- Tater thinks she’s wonderful, mostly because Kent loves her so whole heartedly  
\- Kit is his child  
\- Explains family situation (mom and sister – dad not around-he did try to come back after Kent got drafted-Kent thought it was awesome at first, but realized pretty quickly that his dad sucked)  
\- Tells him that he bought the place for himself, paid mortgage for mom, but they are always welcome to stay at the apartment if they want  
\- New York is expensive and was happy to make it easier for his mom  
\- Tater explains the same thing with his family - bought them a better house, bought his dad a car  
\- Both adorable good sons  
\- Tells him will probably run into family at some point/they want to meet him  
\- Helps him get settled  
\- Takes Tater out to dinner  
\- Talk about nothing and everything  
\- Gushes  
\- Asks him what he wants to do/tells him possibilities  
o Ferry past Statue of Liberty  
o Walk around Time Square/Broadway  
o Shopping  
o Dave and Busters  
o Museums  
o Central Park  
o Broadway show  
o Brooklyn bridge  
o Zoo  
o Etc…

 

Chp.3

\- Kind of a filler chapter (Days 1-3 at least)  
\- Them exploring NYC  
\- Tater wants full tourist experience  
\- Kent never really done it, because no one who lives in NY actually does  
\- Kent is excited too  
\- Go out to various places over the first couple days (as listed previously)  
\- Start out with Staten Island Ferry  
\- Excited about Pigeon on the ferry  
\- Name it something silly and/or Russian  
\- Ride the ferry back – Take pictures and selfies  
\- Walk all the way over to Central Park and just chill all day end up being total children in the park and running and crap – vomit cute  
\- See street performers  
\- Go to toy store  
\- Tater is excited at all of the things  
\- Ends up walking Brooklyn bridge, then taking cab to Russian bakery  
\- Kent says it’s a surprise

Chp.4

\- Takes Tater to Russian bakery in Brooklyn  
\- Tater is so excited  
\- Crushes Kent again  
\- Kent is not “crushing” back  
\- Tater speaks in Russian  
\- Orders for them  
\- Kent asks to teach him some/explain what he said  
\- Tater extra excited  
\- Happy Kent is trying to make him feel welcomed  
\- Explains that most people just expect him to be American, no one ever really tries  
\- Kent promises to try extra hard and learn  
\- Tater is a teddy bear once again  
\- Throughout the trip keeps trying to teach him Russian  
\- Kent is extra happy to try  
\- He puts all the effort in (hockey worthy effort)  
\- Wants Tater to feel happy  
\- Likes making him happy  
\- Realizes he might really like Tater  
\- Feels awful because Tater has never given him any reason to believe he is not straight  
\- Gets a little awkward after  
\- Tater notices  
\- Go back to apartment  
\- Kent feels bad and cheers him up by telling him to help him with Russian letter cookies  
\- Say goodnight

Chp.5

\- When in doubt call Jack  
\- Jack is confused and no real help  
\- The boy is clueless  
\- Talks to Bitty instead  
\- Bitty actually likes him at this point  
\- Bitty tries to help  
\- Tells him “Never fall in love with a straight boy” - says he’s not a good example because he’s an exception to the rule  
\- Groans and complains  
\- Only has two days left with Tater  
\- Wants to share everything with him  
\- Is worried  
\- Not sure if they can really stay friends like this  
\- Doesn’t want to lose him though  
\- Goes to sleep worried  
\- Wakes up in the morning and makes them breakfast  
\- Tater’s flight is the two days away at 4 AM – Going back home to Russia  
\- Worried about losing time  
\- Thinks maybe he will keep it all to himself  
\- Hangs out with Tater all day  
\- Lazy morning  
\- Play video games  
\- Family comes over  
\- Meets mother and sister when they come to visit  
\- Sister goes to NYU  
\- Mother works as a secretary or something like that  
\- Kent pays for his sisters tuition  
\- Loves her very dearly  
\- Tater tells him he’s a good brother  
\- That he’d be a good dad someday  
\- Kent totally doesn’t dwell on that  
\- Decide to go out for dinner  
\- Takes Tater to Dave and Busters  
\- Tater = ultimate excited  
\- Both totally fail at air hockey like the dweebs they are  
\- Tater calls him Kitten/Tomcat in Russian * Котенок*  
\- Tater explains it and Kent blushes  
\- Tater tries to teach him more Russian  
\- Kent is adorable and flustered

Chp.6

\- Kent and Tater go back to the apartment  
\- Mom and sister have gone home by that point  
\- End up lazing around living room  
\- Put on a movie  
\- Get comfy  
\- Talk a bit  
\- After movie end up talking more seriously  
\- Kent tells him about the bad things that happened with his GM  
\- How he hated himself  
\- Talks about getting better, but leaves Jack out of if, he thinks that might be too much  
\- Tater says he wants to tell him something important he thinks Kent should know  
\- He knows what happened with Kent because he gets that  
\- The reason he was desperate to get the NHL is because he is gay and couldn’t be open about it in Russia – worried about his family and such  
\- They know and love and support him, happy he can be more open in US, but worry they can’t see him if he comes out  
\- Tater loves his family and has done so much for them, but wants to be selfish about this  
\- Kent understands  
\- Hugs Tater and puts his hand on his cheek  
\- Wants to kiss him but feels like it might be too much  
\- Tater says something in Russian that Kent doesn’t understand  
\- Kent asks, Tater says its nothing  
\- Just happy to talk to Kent and share with him  
\- They end up staying on the couch for a little while longer, just touching slightly, Kent wishes they were together  
\- Tater wishes he had told Kent the truth… they both wish they were together (MUTUAL PINING!!!!)

Chp.7

\- It’s they’re last day together  
\- Tater is leaving for Russia that night  
\- Kent pines  
\- Tater pines  
\- So much angst  
\- They do everything kind of slowly  
\- Tater packs his stuff (with sad pining angst face)  
\- Get breakfast at a coffee shop  
\- Talk about life  
\- Talk about hockey  
\- Talk about New York  
\- Asks Tater if there is any last request he has from New York  
\- Wants to do the Empire State Building  
\- Decide to go late at night to see the whole city lit up  
\- It’s super romantic  
\- They’re standing very close together in a dark corner  
\- Tater grabs Kent’s hand  
\- Kent is surprised  
\- Tater says how happy he is to be there and thanks Kent  
\- Says its been one of the most fantastic weeks of his life  
\- Kent gets anxious and flustered  
\- Feels like something is about to happen  
\- Tater looks down at him like he’s asking a question  
\- Kent feels so small  
\- Tater kisses him, and Kent kisses back  
\- When they part Kent feels like he could cry  
\- Like all the bad things were leading him to this point  
\- Tater looks so genuinely amazed at Kent  
\- Kent pulls Tater close to him and just hugs him, he doesn’t want to let go  
\- Tater kisses the top of his head  
\- He repeats what he said in Russian before  
\- Kent asks what he said  
\- Tater repeats it in English and tells him that he likes him and that’s what he said to him the night before  
\- Kent nearly cries  
\- They kiss again  
\- Kent asks what they’re going to do now “Lyosha”  
\- Tater says he doesn’t know, but he wants to try  
\- Kent asks about long distance  
\- Tater says they can make it work “Котенок”*  
\- Kent agrees with him  
\- He’s happy and scared and wouldn’t want it any other way  
\- END??

 

* Котенок = koytenok = kitten/tomcat  
**Медвежонок = medvezhonok = teddy bear


End file.
